Martial Arts And Farts

A public secret amongst the people who practice one kind or other of Martial Art is that the uncomfortable and embarrassing feeling of a fart coming up (down) occurs more often in the dojo that outside of it.

When the feeling is there it tends to seriously disrupt the unification of mind and body.

There are two ways that can happen. One is that you feel it coming and try to prevent it from erupting so hard that you can't concentrate on anything else, specifically the sensei or the partner you work with. This attempt to not fart will fail, as we all know. You see, after a while the second way for a fart to distort the unification of mind and body will reveal itself and that is the fart itself coming out. This always takes place when delivering a kick, punch, or during another sudden movement. This is only prevented by sitting down and not moving until very silently the methane has slipped out. But people will wonder, and then know, so the effect will be the same as farting aloud. As said before, during a motion of the body the gas will erupt in a disorderly manner, causing you to focus on the entire dojo focusing on you.

This situation is best dealt with by turning it into a learning experience. The trick is to completely ignore the fart and the effects it has on the people around you. Let the world be the world without affecting your inner peace. The ability to ignore farts is in fact one step further on the long road of unification of mind and body. The person who is able to disarm and eliminate a dangerous opponent and at the same time fart without wincing a muscle is surely a master.

Strong is the man who can fart without distorting his inner strength.

If you feel weak and do not want to bother yourself with this exercise, remember to pay attention what you eat before practice. Speaking from experience I can say that eating a sauerkraut meal beforehand will give you more chance to exercise unification of mind and body than you dreamt of.

I will at this time not go into using a fart as an assault weapon.

See also

• Rio De Janeiro, Brazil, Earth
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• Defecation
  /articles/2R26.html